Firstfruits

The people of Israel were commanded, "The best of the firstfruits of your ground you shall bring into the house of the LORD your God" (Exodus 23:19). The meaning is clear: You should give your very best to God.

During the time I have spent with Tim, I have come to the belief that marriage is a sacrament. That is, the institution of marriage is a visible representation of that which is invisible - Christ's marriage to His bride, the Church. To be married is to be part of a holy relationship. It is preparation for being joined in marriage to Christ.

So the way I see it is, if I'm supposed to be giving my very best to Jesus, shouldn't I also be giving my best to Tim each and every day?

I think the answer to that question is a resounding YES (provided I am first giving myself to God and then giving of myself to Tim)! And I think this is where we come to the answer for my frustration of the past week.

You see, Tim just moved to California, so we're dealing with a three hour time difference that we've never had to deal with before long-term. He has a great job that he's really enjoying, but because he enjoys it so much, he tends to work late. I'm happy that he's so happy, but it's causing problems in our relationship.

For the past week I've been asking myself why it bothers me so much. If I'm still awake, it shouldn't matter that it's late on the east coast by the time he calls. But it does. Why is that?

It's because I long to give him my firstfruits - to give him the best of myself. And yet, it is very difficult for me to do that when I'm tired and my body is working against me. No, it's not impossible. But we do have limits, and we must acknowledge those limits if we are to be good spouses.

I find it interesting that I am so unhappy with this situation. After all, it's still a reasonable hour where Tim is. He isn't too tired so he's still giving of himself during our conversations. It doesn't seem like I should be missing out on anything. And yet, I am not happy without giving of myself to him in our relationship. It's separate from what I receive. I was created by God to be a giver; we ALL were! Let us acknowledge our limits and find new ways and better times to give of ourselves to our spouses and our homes, so that we are giving out of our firstfruits and not out of our leftovers.